I have put my dreams on hold for
some years now and recently they have arisen to torment me. Their time is come
to be borne and I have no choice but to birth them. Have you witnessed this
situation when you have something that you can do now, but you feel it is quite
tedious so you swept it under the carpet of your mind? Suddenly they wake up
and won’t give you peace. Now these dreams that are awaken now have expiry
dates and when they are about to die in your life, you will know no peace. It’s
just like at some point in life you don’t care about marriage, then marriage
becomes a concern; then you start thinking about children and you fight till
you have one. We have psychological biological clock within us.
There are two states in a man’s
life that I have recognized lately. The period of adaptation and ritualizing. The
period of adaptation is that time in your life when you can change the things
that you do many times. For instance, I have a great young friend and she does
radio programme at an fm station, projects at church, is a pharmacists and
sings. I get amazed when I look at her because she is only in her early 20s.
My lady friend can continue like
this for a long time till she reach the point of marriage where most of the
activities in her life would be dropped especially when she begins to have
children. Once the children come in she would be less adaptable. Then at some
point in her life she would not be able to change at all especially in her job.
Ritualizing on the other hand
means that you reach a point in your life where you do one thing for a very
long time and nothing can make you change what you do. This happens when most
time periods in your life are dead and gone. For instance, you were asked to go
for a course in a university and you say, ‘am too old, I don’t need it, I would
reserve that one for my child’. Your life
falls into some kind of ritual.
To some it all up, adapting and ritualizing
is like a plane that is taking off and when it has reached its altitude, it
levels up for the rest of the journey. Our lives are like that. Whoever you are
your life would freeze someday and you are going to do one thing for the rest
of your life till your last breath.
The main point about adapting and
ritualizing is that where you ritualize determines what you achieve in life. For
instance, if for one reason or the other a lady gives birth and becomes a
single mother, she might spend the rest of her taking care of her child. This child
places some limitation on her. Someday the lady might recall her dreams about
what she wanted to do when she was in her youth but she would not be in the
position that permits her to flow in her destiny.
You see that you have to position
yourself in a very favorable position so that even when you cannot adapt
anymore you would still shine.
My friend, if you have something
to do now do it. Don’t procrastinate because if you do that someday you may
find yourself behind time and you cannot change it. The worst of it all is that you fill unfulfilled
in life; you have no idea how it is punishing to feel that way.
Once I had friend and he used to
run a lot. He got a job that took all his time and he quit running. Recently I met
him and he was telling me about his hey days and how sorry he feels for his
present situation. He says he is old and his time has passed. It is not easy at
all for my friend; such a talent wasted. If you see him once, you would know
that this guy is built to run but now he is in the point of ritualizing and he cannot
adapt any more.
When you are old what do you want
to be doing? Do you know that the position you want to be you would require you
to work for some years before you level up? Now when you become the person that
you want to be in the period where you can’t change again, that is when you can
do its associated programmes. For instance, there are retired professors who
chair big boards, do consulting and many other works. If they had not put
themselves in that position before their freezing period they would not have had
the chance to do the associated projects.
The period of adapting is a
youthful period and it is very serious. Your
life is shaped at this stage so that you cannot change at some point in your
life; you cannot teach an old dog new tricks. Let’s not take our lives for
granted if we do so we would be grounded.
Thanks for reading.
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